Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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