it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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