What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
