i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
