i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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