Whatcha textin bout Willis?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just want nice things and good sex
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
