My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
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