WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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