idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
