hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
