I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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