PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
