i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
