Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
