But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
