So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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