i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
