im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize