My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
