I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
