She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
