Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
