god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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