it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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