my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
