my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
