i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
thus making me awesome and them whores
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
ttyl tear gas
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
