its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
