I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Randomize
