it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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