Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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