and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
