Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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