It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
sex in a hospital.. check
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize