i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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