You smell like a Billy Joel song
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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