Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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