I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
