she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
