it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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