She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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