threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
