butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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