I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
