im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
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