I only kidnapped one of them. chill
that's an acceptable place to lick
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
