I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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