I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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