I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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