Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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