problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
