I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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