she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
