me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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