Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
