they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
