He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
