bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize