the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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