yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
