He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
