yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
