i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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