it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
