I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
