I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
