I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
