That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I would fuck him just for his dog
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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