Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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