I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
