so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
