I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize