To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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