His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
