yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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