and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
