I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
