I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
